Light Seeker | 找到你的光

「…扎根、拔起，這百多個日子，以及往後不知道多少個日子，都是如此。我像沙做的，隨著移動就剝落了些，在公車座椅上、在火車和月台的間隙、在風裡或水裡，像落在人們肩膀上的塵埃，輕拍落地，再也無從找起。」

－《路過這個世界教我的事》，黃于洋。

「每個人都會受傷，疤痕沒什麼好遮掩的，學會拿它說故事，才是真正痊癒了。」

在恐懼中學會平靜

好幾天沒有寫字，生活似乎因著冬日的寒冷而變得緊湊。身體不由自主地進入了「冬眠」狀態，我花了更多時間在冥想、閱讀、讀經、規劃與沉澱中。

先補充上一篇文章所提到的租約故事：原來，一切只是自己嚇自己。這個過程中，我被內心的恐懼所霸佔與轄制，竟以為別人要加害於我。實際上，房東想為我提供其他的選擇，並希望若我找到新據點，能提前告知他，以便對租約到期後的安排做出調整。

很感謝主，祂讓我在這短短兩天的風暴中，經歷到恐懼的顫抖與內心的不安。主提醒我要操練回到祂的面前，以禱告平靜我的心，向祂走去。讚美主，祂是信心的創始者與成終者，在這風暴中顯明祂的掌權。我不斷問祂：「主啊，你的心意是什麼？你要我怎麼做？」主回應我：「我只要你讓我安家在你裡面，成形在你裡面，活在我裡面。」這是祂唯一的要求，也是我唯一能做的。

其實，我無法說清，為何自己對這樣的對話與場景會有創傷。但主耶穌知道一切。感謝祂，祂是我魂的牧人。在我瑟瑟發抖、不堪一擊的時候，每一步都有祂憐憫的牽引。祂的話語成為我前行路上的光，支撐我信心的根基，幫助我繼續接受國度的操練。

我們都會受傷，因為人本來就不夠完美。但若沒有經歷這些傷痛，我便不會成為今日的自己。傷痛無需遮掩，當我們學會坦然面對，接納它成為自己的一部分時，痊癒便開始了。那時，我們也能告訴他人，自己是如何在傷痛中成長為更好的人。

一切源於祂的憐憫，一切結於祂的平安。

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Learning Calm Amid Fear

“Everyone gets hurt. There’s no need to hide the scars. Learning to tell your story through them—that’s true healing.”

I haven’t written for several days. Life seems to have tightened its grip with winter’s chill. My body instinctively shifted into a “hibernation” mode, drawing me toward stillness. These days have been filled with meditation, Bible reading, planning, and reflection—a quiet retreat to realign my heart.

Looking back on the lease situation I mentioned earlier, I now see how much fear clouded my judgment. I had built an entire narrative of conflict and ill intent in my mind, only to discover that I was scaring myself. The landlord wasn’t adversarial; he was merely seeking clarity and offering options. He hoped for open communication to help him plan better.

In that moment, I realized how easily fear distorts reality. Yet, I am profoundly grateful to the Lord. In just two days of emotional turmoil, He allowed me to face the trembling fear within and showed me how to calm my heart. Through prayer, I returned to Him, closer than before, and found peace in His presence.

A Reminder from the Lord

As I sought the Lord’s will, I repeatedly asked, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” His gentle response was unmistakable:
“I only want to make My home in you, be formed in you, and live within you.”

This reminder humbled me. His desire is not for me to solve every problem or avoid every fear but to allow Him to dwell in me fully. That is His will, and it is enough.

Facing Scars with Grace

I can’t always explain why certain interactions or scenarios have left lasting scars. But the Lord Jesus knows it all. He is the Shepherd of my soul, guiding me through moments of trembling and fragility. His mercy steadies my steps, His words light my path, and His presence becomes the foundation of my faith.

We all bear wounds, reflections of our imperfection. Yet these very wounds shape who we are. They remind us that we are not meant to walk this journey alone. There’s no need to hide our pain. When we learn to embrace it, to speak openly about it, healing begins.

True healing is not merely personal; it extends outward, becoming a testimony to others. It shows how pain can lead to growth, scars to strength, and fear to faith.

The Lord’s Peace

Every trial begins with His mercy and ends with His peace. In His hands, even the deepest fears become opportunities to grow closer to Him. And as we learn to live in His light, we discover that our scars can tell stories of hope, healing, and redemption.