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這一週的經歷讓我再次思考：我還被什麼困住？

原來，最難的不是懂得道理，而是活出「生命」。

我們可能記得很多真理的話語，卻錯過了「生命的實際」；懂得很多屬靈道理，卻沒有「日常生活的改變」。

今天的我，有比昨天更親近主、更安靜、更柔軟嗎？如果沒有，那我是不是又在「漂」了呢？

其實，在基督徒的生活中是需要爭戰的，因為撒但會竭力讓人遠離生命樹。今天叫你嫉妒，明天讓你恨，日子就這樣一天天飄走，跟世人無異。

我們需要倚靠主，得著爭戰的力量。

這週，我們非常難得地有一對從美國來的聖徒夫婦，在嘉義與我們深度交通。

這對夫婦很特別：姊妹是菲律賓華僑，會說菲語、中文與英文；弟兄是美國人，卻大學雙主修中文。

他們的語言與生命讓我很佩服——他們說英文時簡單、放慢速度，也會問我們「你聽得懂嗎？」姊妹也會溫柔地幫忙翻譯。

這樣的愛與體貼，使我們經歷更深的交通，我深深感受到：「沒有語言能阻擋基督的愛。」

他們分享了《以賽亞書 30:15》的英文原文：

In quietness and in trust will be your strength.

中文讓我特別摸著「安靜」與「信靠」才是真實的力量。

我們是否常常安靜在主面前？是在靠天然的意志過日子，還是有煉進主的心意？主的擔子是輕省的，祂知道我們的真實需要。求主使我們摸著智慧與真實的負擔。

他們提到一句話觸動我心：要「genuinely with Him」——真誠地與主在一起。

我們是人，會受傷、會想逃避、不願讓人看見自己的難堪；但只要我們真實地與主在一起，祂知道如何帶我們走過每一段傷痛。

這週我遇見了一個創傷的情境，我以為自己已經往前了，卻在某個環境中發現舊傷還在，情緒又被挑動。但我學習不抱怨環境，也不逃避人，更不選擇冷漠或切斷關係，而是回到主面前，求祂給我「忘記的恩典」，帶領我往前。

我深深覺得，在憤怒的時候，最容易遠離生命樹。我希望真正地聽見主所給我的「真實負擔」，而不是靠著自己在做事。我願意被主醫治，願意很深很深地、真誠地與祂住在一起。

這次的創傷也讓我看見，我常常想要控制環境，但那些控制，其實都是出於我「空想出來的恐懼與害怕」。

例如：有一台車子常常停在我們家門口，我就覺得他是不是要來跟我們作對。但後來才發現，他只是找不到地方停車。

為了「應對這情況」，我便把車停在門口，好讓自己更方便出入。但這兩天，我突然覺得：「我不需要再這樣做了。因為那是我自己想出來的恐懼。

我開始操練提醒自己：「路不是我的，我可以選擇繞道而行。」我願意學習靈巧像蛇、馴良如鴿。

主也常用小事訓練我。

有一天，我在嘉義山上，機車皮帶突然斷了，車子動不了。正當我不知所措時，一位陌生人出現，從後面幫我推車下山，穿越蜿蜒小道、草叢。我甚至有些害怕他會不會把我帶到偏僻處，但他什麼也沒說，只是默默幫我送到山下的機車行，說了句「我走囉，掰掰」就離開了。

我心裡只剩一句話：「主啊，謝謝你！」在這樣無人經過的山路，安排一位「天使」幫助我回到平地。祢再次用這樣的愛提醒我：祢一直都在你愛裡看顧我，拉我出創傷的陰影。

很多時候，我自己過不了創傷，但你的愛推動我向前。不是用人的方式報復，不是用情緒反應去解決，而是轉向你。

祢說：「有人打你右臉，連左臉也給他。」有時我真的不想再給人打，但祢說祢的愛能改變一切，使我轉向祢，也使人柔軟。在這樣的變化中，我也在變，別人也在變。

我們可以一起操練《羅馬書 6:4》：

我們藉著進入祂的死，與祂一同埋葬，好叫我們在生命的新樣中生活、行動，如同基督藉著父的榮耀從死人中復活一樣。

我想問問讀到這裡的你：

在你的生活中，有沒有類似的控制、恐懼與猜疑？

有沒有什麼事，是你可以「放下」然後選擇「繞道而行」的？

你願不願意操練——不靠自己，而是真誠地與主在一起？

主啊，我願意住在祢裡面，願我靈巧像蛇、馴良如鴿，不落入試探與危險，相信祢主宰萬有，在每個波折裡醫治我的創傷。主，求祢讓我更愛你，更深地更新奉獻，將自己完全交給祢，真實地、全然地，與祢在一起。

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What Still Holds Me Back?

This week’s journey with the Lord made me ask again: What still holds me back?

Sometimes, what’s most difficult isn’t understanding truth, but living out life. We might remember many spiritual teachings, yet miss the reality of life. We might know a lot of doctrines, yet experience no change in our daily living.

Has today’s version of me become softer, quieter, and closer to the Lord than yesterday?

If not, am I just drifting again?

As Christians, we are called to battle. Satan tries everything to keep us away from the tree of life. One day he stirs up jealousy, the next day hatred. And so our days pass, no different from the world’s. We need to lean on the Lord to gain the strength to fight.

This week, we were visited by a special couple from the U.S. The sister, a Chinese Filipino, speaks Tagalog, English, and Chinese. The brother, an American, majored in Chinese.

Their life and their language impressed me. They spoke simple English, slowed their speech, and asked, “Did you understand?” The sister also helped translate. This kind of love and consideration brought us into deep fellowship. I truly felt: No language can block the love of Christ.

They shared Isaiah 30:15 in English:

In quietness and in trust will be your strength.

The Chinese version highlighted the words “quietness” and “trust”—true strength comes from there.

Are we living each day driven by our natural will, or refined in the Lord’s intention? His yoke is easy, His burden light. May He grant us wisdom and a genuine burden from Him.

One phrase they said stayed with me: “Genuinely with Him.” We’re human. We get hurt. We hide. But if we stay genuinely with Him, He knows how to lead us through every pain.

This week, I faced a deep wound. I thought I had moved on. But something triggered it again. I chose not to complain or cut off people. Instead, I turned to the Lord, asking for the grace to forget and move forward.

When I am angry, I find it’s the easiest moment to stray from the tree of life. But I want to hear the Lord’s real burden—not just do things by my own effort. I want to be healed, deeply, sincerely, to dwell with Him. This wound showed me my desire for control. But that desire came from imagined fears.

Like a car that kept parking in front of our house—I assumed it was being hostile. But in truth, it was just looking for a place to park. To “respond,” I started parking at the entrance too. But recently I realized—I don’t need to do that anymore. That reaction came from fear, not faith.

I practiced telling myself: “The road is not mine. I can take another path.” I want to be wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove.

God also trained me through a small trial: One day on a mountain road, my scooter’s belt snapped. I couldn’t move. A stranger came from behind and pushed my bike all the way down the hill, through grass and trails. I feared for a moment—what if he led me somewhere dangerous? But he said nothing, just dropped me off at the repair shop, waved, and left.

I could only say, “Thank You, Lord!” You sent an angel to help me when I was alone. You used this act of love to remind me: You’ve always been with me, lifting me from my shadows. There are wounds I can’t walk through alone. But Your love pushes me forward—not through revenge, not through reaction, but through turning to You.

You said, “If someone strikes your right cheek, offer your left.” Sometimes I really don’t want to. But Your love can transform. It softens me, and even softens others. In this transformation, I am changing. Others are changing too.

Let us practice Romans 6:4:

We have been buried therefore with Him through baptism into His death, in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so also we might walk in newness of life.

A question for you, dear reader:

Is there something you’ve been trying to control out of fear?

Is there a situation you could surrender and choose a new way instead?

Will you dare to be genuinely with Him—not in performance, but in deep, quiet trust?

My Prayer

Lord, I want to dwell in You. Make me wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove. Keep me from temptation, and heal my broken places. May I love You more, renew my consecration, and give myself entirely—truly, deeply—to be with You.